and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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