I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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