how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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