When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
