who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
