she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
