Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
