that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
