Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
