Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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