just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
