dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
