It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
