Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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