: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
