Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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