So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
