O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
