that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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