good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
