Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
