Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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