Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
