well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
