She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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