Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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