U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Buhtt sex?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
