Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
