I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
