If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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