Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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