I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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