worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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