im having a threesome with these popsicles
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
