just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
