I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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