just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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