I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
