eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
