Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
