It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
