i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
This house was built for laser tag.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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