bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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