Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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