I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We need to get me chipped asap
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
