I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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