i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
do herpes really smell.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
