I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
