Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
