You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
