Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Let's get the cat blown out
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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